But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
