Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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