But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
