I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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