I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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