At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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