You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
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So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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