Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
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No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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