I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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