i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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