Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
