booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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