we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
