I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
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