remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
