Christians are straight up FREAKS
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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