she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
People in love make me want to vomit
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
