the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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