You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
