Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think I died a long time ago.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
