The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
