Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
tell me about the fingering
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