To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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