In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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