dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.