I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.