Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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