the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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