The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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