youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you inspire me to be a worse person
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
