I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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