From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
