only if we run a train.
done.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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