Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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