Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
