Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she smelled like a LAN party
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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