spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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