we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize