Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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