This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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