So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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