it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
