do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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