I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i need some magic done to my vagina
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
