she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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