I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
