so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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