I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
