Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
God, you're like boner-b-gone
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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