how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
