Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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