So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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