I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize