i dont even know how to be here
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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