Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
