the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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