Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize