ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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